Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Part: One - Bilbo
Fandom: The Hobbit
Genres: Romance, Hurt, Comfort
Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Original Character - Viola Whitfoot, Dwarves from the Company
Warnings: Character Death in the beginning
Disclaimer: Written for a prompt that asked for Bilbo being a widower, who lost his partner (male or female) few months before Gandalf leads company of dwarves to his home.
I'm holding a cup in my hands,
that waits for lips of thirsty man.
I'm holding a cup in my hands,
My overflowing heart.
- František Gellner, Přetékající pohár
-o.O.o-
For as long as Bilbo could remember, every time he looked to his side, he could see Viola there, glancing at him and giving him a wide smile (even back during that time when wolves and orcs attacked the Shire and he managed to defend the two of them before the wolves). They were inseparable, where one was, the other would sure soon follow, the hobbits of Hobbiton liked to say; always getting in trouble in their search for ‘adventure’. Both his parents liked the lass, always willing to offer help, if needed, laughing freely and being there, when Bungo Baggins died, and Belladona and Bilbo were left in the smial Bungo built for his wife, when she accepted his proposal.
Now, Bilbo was in for the greatest adventure, for the greatest risk in his whole life – he was about to propose to his only true friend, deadly afraid of hurting the relationship the two of them shared.
But then he just blurted out the question at Viola, earning himself the widest and fondest smile he could imagine, and the very first kiss he shared with his wife-to-be.
-o.O.o-
There had been much dancing, eating and merry-making on the day Viola and Bilbo were wed. His eyes were always drawn to his wife, so beautiful in her wedding dress, with flowers in her hair, her hand soft and warm in his.
His mother gazed at them with a soft smile, taking in the sight of their happiness.
Few months later, it was once again only two hobbits in Bag End, as Belladona passed away, following after her husband. And once again, Viola was there for Bilbo, as he mourned his mother, slowly making him see the light in his life again, filling Bag End with laugher and joy once more.
-o.O.o-
For years, it was just the two of them in Bag End, and Bilbo never thought the whole place empty – not with Viola by his side every day, not with Viola waking up in his arms, not with Viola kissing him at every opportunity, just like when they were first married. Yet, when Viola told him softly that in several months there will be more of them in the smial, and whether he would prefer son or daughter, he could not stop himself from grabbing her in his arms and pepper her face with kisses.
She laughed so, when he danced with her around her home, carrying her to their bedroom afterwards.
In several months, they will have family, and Bilbo thought he could not be any happier.
-o.O.o-
Everything in Viola’s pregnancy was going fine – she didn’t suffer from the morning sickness like so many others, and while her ankles got swollen and her back ached, it was nothing Bilbo couldn’t soothe with a careful massage (although he was still a bit surprised at some of the cravings Viola expressed, and he wasn’t thinking about food only).
It just showed that fate was still not finished with him, when Viola’s water broke, and together with it came blood. After several hours, their child, little boy with light hair and Viola’s nose and Bilbo’s mouth, was born stillborn, and the knowledge made them both cry bitterly.
But Viola wouldn’t stop bleeding, and only hours after he held his dead child, he was holding his dying wife, feeling her grasp on his fingers getting weaker by each passing moment, as he begged her not to leave him, and she gave him one last smile, radiant and sad and so very soft, and whispered:
“I love you.”
Bilbo felt numb. In matter of hours, his whole life broke in front of his eyes, and for the very first time in his life, he was completely alone in the smial, the size of his smial oppressive instead of comforting, and he couldn’t bring himself to even try to imagine how he will continue with his life.
-o.O.o-
For months, he had been unable to look at anything in Bag End without crying, as everything reminded him of loved ones he lost. Belladona’s and Bungo’s portraits, Viola’s dried flowers arrangement, Viola’s curtains in the windows, Belladona’s treasure chest, Bungo’s chair, all the handkerchiefs Viola gave to him on her birthday, the brass buttons on his vest, Belladona’s plates (which Viola liked so very much, because they reminded her on her mother-in-law), Bungo’s knives.
Hamfast Gamgee, his closest neighbour, forced him to continue onward with his life, making him work on his garden, go shopping during the Market days, and Bilbo had a feeling that Hamfast also had a hand in the sudden visits of his cousins.
He still woke up in his (their) bed, his arms reaching for her, only to realize that the reality is still bleak and lonely. But after long months, he finally started to smile again. And that was when everything went topsy-turvy again.
-o.O.o-
So, the Grey Wizard, whom he remembered from several celebrations whole decades ago, journeyed to the Shire once again, looking for an adventurous hobbit.
The next thing he knew was that his smial was full of dwarves, who disrespected everything he held sacred – starting with cleaning their boots over his mother’s treasure chest to throwing her plates and his father’s cutlery around the smial, laughing over the way he chased after them, so scared they will knock over any of Viola’s flower arrangements or tear any of the embroidered covers she used to place over chairs.
The leader of the dwarves had the gall to insult him in his house, his words only adding further salt to the injury. He refused to join them on their quest, their song about the Lonely Mountain not moving him in the slightest, but something happened that made him chase after the company the next day.
Viola appeared in his dreams, and when he woke up, he could hear her voice telling him to pack his things, and run after the Company, because without him, their quest will fail.
Only when he managed to chase them down he realized he forgot one of Viola’s handkerchiefs, bringing the mockery of the dwarves on himself again. One of them, Bofur, if he remembered correctly, tore a piece of his own clothing and threw him the cloth, saying it was better than no handkerchief at all.
While true, it certainly didn’t hold the value to Bilbo as Viola’s creations would.
-o.O.o-
‘Sit straighter, Bilbo, and allow yourself to move together with the pony.’
“Her name is Myrtle and I think she hates me,” grumbled Bilbo, glaring at Viola, as she walked beside his pony. She chuckled. ‘She adores you, as any other woman would,’ she teased him, ‘but you sitting so straight hurts her, and when hurting, women are grumpy, or have you forgotten?’
“I haven't,” confessed Bilbo, moving to sit straighter. “Sorry, Myrtle,” he murmured to his pony, patting her neck, the pony slightly turning her head and snorting softly.
Behind him, Kili and Fili exchanged glances. To them, it looked as if this Mister Boggins (‘Baggins, Kili’) was a bit off in the head; he only rarely joined the others in a conversation, but seemed quite content to have whole conversations with himself.
This thing was just weird, but they felt like they would find the core of this. In time.
-o.O.o-
‘He’s so very proud of his son.’
“Of course he is – and his wife! What man wouldn’t be proud of his family?”
“Mister Baggins, are you alright?”
“Oh,” jumped Bilbo, as Gloin spoke to him. “Of course. Just thought of something. Tell me more about your son,” he requested, the dwarf’s face immediately alight at the mention of his pride. And beside him, Viola gave him a small smile and leaned in to listen more closely.
-o.O.o-
“You can’t eat those dwarves!”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Bilbo desperately searched for a reason why the trolls shouldn’t eat the dwarves when Viola spoke: ‘Think of what would make us hobbbits not to eat something…’
“Because they’ve gotten parasites in their tubes!”
The idea had its merits, Balin thought, and part of him wondered where Bilbo came across it. All he could remember was hobbit standing before the trolls, only to turn his face to the side a bit and then just blurting it out.
-o.O.o-
Viola seemed to be awed by the elven architercture, as much as Bilbo. Both of them looked around the place, Viola asking Bilbo to talk to more and more elves, so she would learn more about them, and Bilbo, curious himself, asked even more questions than she asked him to.
If the dwarves thought him a bit weird, as he sat with them for the dinner, his head leaning to the side as he ate and giggled over something, they didn’t say it aloud.
(Viola was just making smart comments about dwarves and their vegetables, and Bilbo couldn’t help but laugh, when he himself sneaked a peak at them and saw them making faces over all the green food they were served.
‘I bet it’s elven revenge over the insults Thorin threw their way.’
Bilbo was inclined to believe every single word of that.)
-o.O.o-
‘Hold on, Bilbo, hold on!’
For a moment, Bilbo was tempted to just let go, as he hung from the edge of the rock, with his grip on the stone slipping. Bofur was trying to reach him, but in the end it was Thorin who swept down and dragged him up, insulting him in response to his thanks.
It would have been funny to hear Viola yell at Thorin’s back, but for the time being, Bilbo just felt alone, as Viola might have been there, but he was unable to hold her, and draw some comfort from her closeness.
-o.O.o-
‘Bilbo, now!’
Listening to what his wife said, he quietly slipped away into the shadows, as the goblins pushed the dwarves forward. He was sneaking around carefully, sure his steps didn’t make any sound, but suddenly, there was a goblin behind him, and even if Viola shouted a warning, all he could do was to turn around, and face the goblin, as they fell down.
-o.O.o-
‘Ask him the riddle about egg.’
Bilbo was sweating. His life was once again only a small step from its ending, that scary creature, Gollum, forcing him to play games for his life. They asked riddles, and answered them while the other one was pressuring them into quick answer, and suddenly, there was supposed to be one last question, and Bilbo felt his head getting completely empty.
‘Your pocket, Bilbo…’
“What do I have in my pocket?”
He run after that, the Gollum creature after him, as he got stuck in a very narrow passage. ‘Duck!’ shouted Viola, her voice desperate, as she jumped between them, and for a moment, Bilbo though Gollum had to see her, because his assault slowed down enough for him to push through, his brass buttons flying all around as they gave in, and he fell to the ground, the ring suddenly slipping on his finger.
There! The dwarves were rushing through, Gandalf with them, and he run after them with every ounce of energy still left in him.
-o.O.o-
As the eagles set them down and Gandalf managed to heal quite a few of Thorin’s injuries, Bilbo was sitting on the edge of the Carrock and gazed down.
‘You did well, my beloved,’ said Viola, sitting next to him and leaning her head against his shoulder, and when Bilbo closed his eyes, he could feel something weighting down there.
Dwalin interrupted the moment, though, and as he looked around, Bilbo finally realized that all but one of his buttons are missing. He panicked a bit over it, making the dwarves laugh over it. And in that moment, Bilbo finally had enough.
“Just for your information,” he snapped, “it’s not a concern over my appearance – those buttons were one of the few things I had of my wife!”
The laughter stopped immediately; no one was used to such outbursts from usually quiet hobbit. It was Bofur, who broke the silence:
“You are married?!”
-o.O.o-
Bilbo wasn’t really proud of himself, when he recalled the scene he made at top of Carrock – but the constant disrespect to everything he held dear made him snap in the end.
“Widowed,” he barked, causing the dwarves cringe. “My wife died several months before Gandalf arrived to Shire.”
“Why didn’t you say anything, mister Boggins?” asked Kili, his voice sounding a bit hurt.
And Bilbo snapped again. “Right,” he gritted through his teeth, “as if any of you showed any respect to me before or during the journey so far. You,” he pointed at Kili, “cleaned your shoes over my mother’s treasure chest, without minding its value to me. You,” he pointed at other dwarves, “threw around my mother’s dishes and my father’s cutlery, without any respect to their memory. And now,” he laughed bitterly, “now you expect me to believe you would treat my wife’s memory with more respect? Bah!”
He turned on his heel and stomped into the trees surrounding the camp, without any concern about the commotion he just caused.
-o.O.o-
No one approached him about the topic of his Viola until they reached house of Beorn, Gandalf’s friend, and Bilbo was dreading the moment one of them asked about her. Viola herself had been quiet, only walking by his side, only sometimes humming a tune to which he joined out of habit; once it was a mournful song of lost people (which strangely reminded him of dwarves), there it was a song of unrequited love, and then it was the melody of polka they loved to dance at every celebration even before they engaged.
It was Ori, who approached him in the end; the scribe nervous about the whole thing but eventually gathering enough courage to ask his question.
“Mister Baggins, could you tell me more about your wife? I would love to hear about her.”
And for the first time in what seemed like forever, Bilbo found himself speaking of her; of all those times they got into trouble, all those times were there for each other, of the time he proposed and she said yes, of their wedding; he even showed Ori the locket Viola had made for him – with small portraits of them on their wedding day. When he spoke of her death, the whole company was already gathered around, and as tears streamed down his cheeks, it was Dori and Bofur who gathered him in their embrace as he cried over the loss of his wife and child.
Ori presented him with a sketch of the portraits the next day, bring tears into his eyes, as he gazed upon it. Viola by his side just gasped; her hand coming to cover her mouth, as she looked at the details Ori managed to copy from the small painting.
And Ori himself had a vague feeling of someone tapping him on his shoulder afterwards; feeling strangely accomplished at the grateful smile Bilbo gave him.
-o.O.o-
The whole Company treated Bilbo differently afterwards, and not only because he saved Thorin’s life after their escape from goblin city. The knowledge that the hobbit knows loss all too well certainly made the dwarves a bit self-conscious about their treatment of the hobbit, and they were more respectful now.
Viola kept to his side when they entered Mirkwood; moving alongside the Company, keeping and extra set of eyes for any danger.
It was thanks to her that Bilbo managed to put on the ring, and save the Company before the spiders, but even then, the dwarves still got captured by the Mirkwood elves, and Bilbo was the only one who could more around the elven settlement without being seen.
He was in for several long weeks of sneaking around, only Viola constantly at his side, offering words of encouragement every time he felt his spirits drop.
It was thanks to her ideas they managed to run, and buy enough equipment in the Lake-town afterwards, as he followed on her suggestion to steal some of Thranduil’s (or elven king) treasures, much to Thorin’s glee.
They were still in for the terrible surprise in the form of dragon in the depths of Lonely Mountain, but Bilbo actually felt rather optimistic about it.
After all, he was their lucky number, the barrel rider and holder of the sting.
-o.O.o-
Even if it took several long days, Bilbo felt it rushing around him at dragon speed. The dwarves faling to the gold-sickness nearly immediately after re-taking the mountain from Smaug the Dragon, as he flew away, and destroyed the Lake-town; the Men and Elves marching to the mountain, and him stealing the Arkenstone, offering it to Bard as a bargain chip, so the Man could get the gold he needed so much to start rebuilding the city on the lake.
In his madness, Thorin certainly wasn’t very happy that the Man had the stone he had been so eager to get his hands on, and as he held Bilbo over the edge of the wall, his hand around his throat, Bilbo found himself wishing for an end, where he would be able to rejoin Viola, who hadn’t been around as much as she had been during the journey. Gandalf called to the madness-driven dwarven king, and Bilbo found himself released to stand on the ground, and being exiled from the Lonely Mountain.
No one said a word in his defence, or to his support, but Bilbo had not been surprised by that. Blood is thicker than water, and he wasn’t related to any of the dwarves, so why should any of them support him? Still, it hurt; to know he didn’t mean enough to the dwarves for them to say at least a word, as he hung from Thorin’s grasp.
The battle of Five Armies, as it was called later, had been a terrible nightmare, lightened only by Viola’s presence at his side. His wife was once again right next to him, shouting warnings about orcs, or his dwarven companions being in danger, and Bilbo was running all around the battlefield.
In the end, he was knocked unconscious by a stone that hit him in the head, just as the eagles appeared on the battlefield.
-o.O.o-
He was up on the battlefield; the battle already finished, and only those who were looking for survivors were moving around still.
‘You still have your ring on, darling,’ whispered soft voice, and Viola appeared in front of Bilbo. She was wearing exactly the same smile she gave to Bilbo before she died, and he felt his heart clench painfully.
“You’re not leaving, are you?” he blurted, and Viola looked towards her feet. ‘I will be leaving soon,’ she said, raising her eyes to meet his again. ‘You needed me on the journey to retake Erebor, and to find your way in life again. Now… you found it.’
“Do not leave me,” he whispered, tears forming in his eyes. “I love you. I will always need you.”
‘And I will always need you and love you, my beloved,’ replied Viola, her eyes shining with unshed tears. ‘But it’s time for you to continue with your life, as there will be others needing you. Live,’ she whispered fervently, tears finally falling down, ‘live long, and live gloriously.’
When Dwalin finally found him, Bilbo had been sobbing bitterly at second loss of his wife. Yet at the same time, his heart felt lighter than it did in months.
-o.O.o-
Bilbo never really moved on, or remarried for the sake of his properties. Viola forever held her place in his heart, and to tell the truth, he never tried to find anyone else after her. Many decades later, he found himself stepping on board of elven ship, inbound to the Undying Lands, and he felt his lips form a small smile.
There was whistle behind him. Looking around, he saw Viola running towards him, and he opened his arms to catch her in his embrace.
“I love you,” he whispered to her hair, as he held her close at last. And his wife looked up, gave him a smile, and kissed him, her lips tasting as sweet as a water would taste to someone, who had suffered from thirst for a very, very long time.
